I'm at a crossroads. There's so many things going for me right now, and so many stressful events ahead, I feel like my head's about to explode! But enough about me, what about you?
Yeah, I don't like talking about myself.. perhaps because I'm deceiving myself enough, I don't want to inflict that on others. But then, am I really honest with the people around me if I go about life ignoring my feelings altogether, dismissing them as hormones playing mind tricks on me? Sure, scientific knowledge helps bring you back to reality and to the fact that time and space are really just the conjecture of what we experience as living things. But really, string theory and neuroscience don't love back. I need to start focusing on myself and making my own experiences, instead of living through others.
I need to feel alive, and not just like a living, breathing experience lab. Enough with the observing, let's go on the field! I feel rusty, but I'm ready to make efforts, to put myself out there a little more. Perhaps that'll help my confidence somewhat. Maybe it'll crush it, but at least I'll go down knowing I did everything I could to get that experience. I can live with that.
In other news, I watched the Oscar-winning documentary The Cove the other night... it's truly heartbreaking. Dolphins are absolutely amazing animals, and to quote Capt. Paul Watson loosely, intelligence is the capacity to live consciously in harmony with nature, and by those standards, whales and dolphins are far more intelligent creatures than we are. And yet, they are vulnerable to our senseless imprisoning and slaughtering, revealing the proud nature of men for what it is: foolish and unnecessary. What we do to these creatures is but a reflection of what we are capable of inflicting upon one another. It's unsettling.
This week was also the season finale of Whale Wars, and here's a link to watch it online.